In my last post I talked about how I was going to commit. I was really going to get things done. I didn’t. I don’t even think I made it past that post. Then I disappeared- which is common for me, for those of you that don’t know me personally.
My disappearing isn’t the reason I’m writing here though. So I’m not going to bother getting into it. I honestly don’t know the reason that I’m writing here. I haven’t figured it out, even though I’ve already started writing….
I guess I will just jump back in after my break at full speed. NaNoWriMo starts on the first of November. I was going to participate, then I wasn’t, now I think I am. I haven’t really been working on any kind of novel. I’ve been focusing more on poetry, when I actually spent any time writing that is. I do want to participate though. I just have to figure out exactly what project I want to work on.
I’ve got two ideas in my head you see. One that would be something anyone who knows me would easily expect me to write. It follows along the lines of my personality and would shock no one that it is more Sci-Fi than anything. The other though, it would be more general. No Fantasy. No Sci-Fi. Something that is a bit less expected.
I have no idea which route I want to go, but will attempt to write a bit of both and see what one really speaks to me. And I’ll go with whatever one pulls me more. And the other will just have to wait until next year I guess!
I’m worried about trying to write either one of them as I usually get frustrated with myself quickly when I’m trying to write a novel, but that doesn’t mean I can’t keep trying. I know that I’ve got it in me somewhere to write something that is more than poetry. So I just have to keep at it.
That is how life is right? Just keep trying? My depressive episodes of my Bipolar are more consistent these days and I have a hard time getting myself out of bed for work in the morning (which is sad because I work from home). I have a hard time doing anything to be fair, but when my brief Manic episodes kick in I’m really able to get things done. That is just how it is with Biploar, but I’m trying to still get work done even when I don’t feel like I can. Today is one of those days. All I want to do right now is get under a blanket and hide for the day, but I can’t, because I have responsibilities and I have things that must be done, bills that must be paid. I’m lucky that I do work from home because I’m not sure that I could get up and go to a brick & mortar job like many people do. I applaud anyone that works like that, because I can’t.
But no one wants to hear about that. Or so my brain tells me, so I’m going to try to push through it even though I know it will never end or go away. I’m going to try to keep trying.
That is all I have for today. If you use the NaNoWriMo website let me know, we can be buddies. Maybe you could be the difference in my motivation! Good luck to anyone who is participating.