I’ve been listening to Women of the Hour podcast lately. (I should be honest, I’ve listened to the first episode and am currently listening to the bonus episode as I write this, but I still wanted to use this as inspiration for this week’s post.) I have some great friends, especially for a person who is introverted, and has limited social skills. I’ve spent a good portion of my life trying to figure out how to be a good friend and have a good friend. I’m not great at the whole friendship thing to be honest. I never have been. And I’m not even going to try to discuss how to be a good friend or even really tell you about my friends at all. So why would I even think that this has anything to do with Friendship? Good question.
I’ve been thinking about friendship lately. Sometimes you have friends for years and they are always apart of your life and no matter how much the two of you grow into your own person and lead your own lives, but then you have friends that you thought would always be there, but as you grow and move into your own lives you begin to see that you aren’t even able to say on parallel paths. It is sad when this happens, it really is, but I’m not sure if it is sad because I can see a friendship floating away that has been a part of my life for many years, or is it because of all the work that was put into that friendship that when you see it ending you get frustrated that you wasted that much time. Then I think, was it a waste really? I mean even if you don’t keep the friendship forever it was still important while you had it. For whatever time that friendship existed it was important and it was meaningful and it had a purpose, now it doesn’t.
So what do you do when you see this friendship moving on or forward into a place where you know it isn’t going to last? I don’t know, I’d love to hear your thoughts. I’ve survived many of these relationships ending, some in better ways than others. Some of them have dragged on years longer than they should. What can I say, friendship is something that still confuses the hell out of me and I often don’t know the right way to handle it. Other times I’m no sure I’m even in the right. I’ve mentioned, several times, I’m not great at friendship. I’m really bad at it often times, unless you want to have an online friendship, which takes minimal effort, then I usually do okay, but you have to be okay with me disappearing for several days or weeks at a time without a word. And as long as you are okay with that, then we can be online friends. I spend a lot of time alone and often don’t think about reaching out to the real world to let them know that I’m okay. Those are the kinds of friends that I need, ones that understand that I’m not a constant update kind of friend. I’m more of a weekly highlights kind of friend. Does that make me a bad friend? Maybe, but that is who I am and if you can’t accept that, or you want to change me into someone else, you will find out that our relationship will not last forever, no matter what either of us thinks.
So tell me about your friendships. Where do you struggle? What kind of friends are you looking for in your life? Do you need a friend that will talk to you once a month like me? Cause if so, maybe we could be friends.