Painting in a Cave

My Bipolar messes with my life.

I wish I could say that I’ve got everything under control. My medication is working and I’m control my life, but that would be a lie. Sure things are better since I’ve started medication, but that doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. Far from it.

Medication is a balancing act. For awhile things will be fine, and then it isn’t. Once I’m on the right dosage I’m sure I’ll get evened out a bit, but for right now, I’m counting down the hours until I can meet with my Psych tomorrow to get a higher dosage of my prescription.

I didn’t want to write this to talk about my medication though, that was only a small part of what I’m struggling with. I’m so out of it I’m not writing. I’m not working out regularly. I’m eating horribly and just not taking care of myself properly. But even that isn’t what I’m really here to talk about.

I realized something with my writing. Or, at least I’m starting to realize something. I have a hard time finishing projects. I’ve always thought it was because I couldn’t keep with one project long enough or because I thought my own writing was horrible, but I’ve started to wonder if maybe the reason I am having a hard time is because I’m not relating to the characters I’m writing.

I’ve also realized I’m writing in genres that I want to read, but I’m not writing the stories that I want to read about.

These realizations, and any others that I get along the way, mean that I’ve got a lot of work to do and  I need to get my butt in gear and actually do it.

I love writing. Anyone who knows me knows this is true. It has been a dream of mine most of my life. Well, I’m getting to the point that I either need to sit down and write or stop dreaming so big. I’m not looking for fame or fortune. I’m looking to be happy, but part of being happy is getting this stuff out of my head and getting it on paper.

I have a ton of work to do. I’ve got a million habits to form. And they all start with one thing– doing the work. Some days that will be easier than others, especially considering my Bipolar and my medication, but I’ll do what needs to be done– or I will at least start trying. I was really on a role at one point, but then I wasn’t. It’s okay, progress isn’t linear, so at least I know that.

I’ve been trying to read more again too. That will help spark some more reading I think. The more I read, the more I want to write. There is a quote from Stephen King that sticks with me, and has since the first time I saw it:

“If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.” -Stephen King

I believe this quote to be an ultimate truth in the world of writing. One that I need to live by, among several others, but this one currently above all. And another one about sitting down and writing….

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” -Ernest Hemingway

Yes, that is the one. I guess it is time for me to read and bleed, but please don’t quote me on that. Ever.

I’ll leave you with one last item, the one that I got my title for this post from. A song that always makes me motivated to be creative, even when I really don’t feel like it.

Another Travelin Song – Bright Eyes

Books- I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!

I’ve spent a lot of time in the bookstore lately. I find it therapeutic- something about being around rows of books it just makes me feel better. I generally assume that most people feel the same way that I do about books and bookstores, but I guess maybe that isn’t the case? I don’t know really, you’ll have to fill me in!
The problem with spending so much time at the bookstore is that I also end up buying more books. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love books and I love buying books. However, I don’t always have the room and/or money for more books. Not to mention at this point my To Read list is so backed up I’m not sure I’ll ever complete it. I have made a list of the physical books that I own that I haven’t read yet (or most of them) and I am going to try to finish them before the end of the year, but this won’t start until after I’ve finished a few books I have digital that I already planned to read before moving on to anything else.
I won’t stop buying books in physical or digital format any time soon. This is something that I’m very much aware of. You can’t just tell a book addict to stop getting books. That won’t ever happen. Maybe I’ll never read them all, that is fine. They will hopefully be passed on some day to someone who will read them. That is what is important right?
I know this post is quite short, and I’m sorry. I’ve got some fun neck pain going on today and I really just don’t feel like sitting up and writing. I’m hoping that with tomorrow’s new month will come a new me, one that is more motivated to get things done. The most I can do is hope at this point.
I’m working on getting a routine in place for myself between my medication, writing, working out, reading and work I’ve got to figure out how to fit it all in. Would love to get gaming back into my life too, maybe even some Anime binge watching! Oh to dream!
Anyway, as promised, I’ll show you my books, but you better show me yours! (Sorry, not going to try to list all the digital ones)

A Short Post about Authors….

This feels like a filler post. Maybe it is. Maybe I’m just trying to figure out what kind of stuff I want to put on here. I would love for it to be a mixture of all the things that I love, which right now isn’t much. Blame that on grief. I clearly remember all the things I used to love, I guess I should start there.
So the point of this post was to share with you Authors that I think you should read and/or follow. I’m not really sure where to start with this list. I mean do I even bother listing all of my favorite authors? Do I separate by genre? How many is too many? I don’t know where to stop, and damn sure have no idea when I should stop! The problem with asking someone who is an avid reader to list a bunch of authors to read is that you are opening a whole can of worms that you really aren’t ready for.
With that said, I’m going to take the dangerous path and assume that I don’t need to list any of the classics, or new classics. I feel like it should go without saying that in a person’s lifetime they should at least take some interests the classics of our history. It just seems silly to think otherwise, but maybe that is just me. So I will say it now, in case you haven’t gotten the hint, go read a damn classic!
I am still struggling on if I should list people like Tom Wolfe, Hunter S. Thompson, Charles Bukowski, and Kurt Vonnegut. They are some of my favorite writers of all time. I don’t know that I could have a list without them, but I also feel like there is no life in which you haven’t read at least one of these amazing people. I’ve gotten the sudden urge to add Silvia Plath and Maya Angelou to that list, so I am doing it now. I would never want to live a life without these women either. I just wouldn’t.
So I guess what this leaves me with is a list of contemporary authors to read? That feels accurate, but a lot harder than I intended for this to be. You see, I don’t read a lot of contemporary authors, not currently anyway. If you ever want a list of some of my favorites, please feel free to ask, I’m always happy to talk about books. I guess lets get back to the task at hand, contemporary authors I think you should read, or at least know about.
* Patrick Duncan- currently reading his Dracula vs. Hitler and it is quite nice. Southern Gothic style historical Fiction.
* Nalini Singh- Fantasy Romance style books, usually long series.
* David Mitchell- Supernatural
* Ernest Cline- SciFi
* Jana Oliver – Young Adult Fantasy/Romance
* Julia Elliot- Southern Gothic SciFi
* Christopher Moore- Comedic Fiction
* Sarah Kay – Spoken Word Poet

So those might not be a lot to start with, but like I said, contemporary isn’t really something I’m good at currently. I also did try to avoid any of the bigger named authors that I could have probably filled this list with (George RR Martin, Gillian Flynn, etc). This is what you get. Do you have any suggestions for me? I love to hear about new books or authors.

Let’s Talk Comics

I mentioned that I was thinking about doing a post with comics that I’m really into right now. Here I am, about to talk about it. I feel it is only fair that I mention that I am currently super sick, but wanted to get this out anyway.

So without further delay:

Saga, Tank Girl:Gold, Dark Knight III Master Race, The Wicked & The Divine. These are some of my favorite current comics. There are so many more that I enjoy, but these are ones that I really feel like people should know about.

Some other ones I feel that I should mention are: Rat Queens, Chew, X-Men (pick your version), Lumberjanes, Gotham at Midnight, Paper Girls, Limbo, Monstress, Ms. Marvel, I Hate Fairyland, and InHumans (again pick your version). I could go on and on I’m sure, but those are some of the ones that I enjoy a lot.

I hope this gives you a place to start if you are looking for suggestions. If you are already into comics, what are you reading? I always am open to new suggestions!

Gilmore Girls Reading Challenge (From Tumblr Post)

So, I’ve done this before, but I’m going to do it again. One of my goals in life is to read every book on this list. I have made a spreadsheet so I can keep track of the ones I’ve read, need to read and want to read again. Feel free to make a copy for yourself if you’d like. I haven’t done anything beyond make the sheet yet, so you can’t track my progress. I will get to that this weekend when I have more free time. And once it is updated I will feel bad about nothing having read more of these, considering I am such an avid reader, but I guess that is why I want to do this right?

Maybe this is a bad weekly blog post? I don’t know, but I’m excited to read more!