I did it again….

I have a nasty habit of setting a goal for myself and once it is set and the intention is out there I just ignore it. It is something about myself that I’ve been working on most of my life. As I’m sure you can guess it hasn’t worked out well for me yet, but I will keep trying. This is what has happened with this years NaNoWriMo goals. Actually, it has happened with a lot of my recent goals for myself, but that isn’t something that I’m ready to get into.

Let’s talk about NaNo….

I made the goal to write for the month of November. 50,000 words in one month is quite a goal, but not unrealistic. I’ve done it before, so there is no reason I couldn’t do it again! Alas, what actually happened was nothing. I didn’t even log in once to participate. Not once.

As it stands right now I’ll have to go to my NaNo dashboard and erase the million emails I have there from November and that’ll be the first time since I wrote my original 2017 NaNo post that I’ve been there. It is sad that this happened, but it did and I just have to be okay with it.

My writing has suffered recently. Not just NaNo, but in general. A lot of my life has suffered. I’m working on getting out of this funk, but in reality it has always been this way and I doubt anything is ever going to change it. I just have to continue to remind myself that writing, in all the forms that I love, is what I am supposed to do.

I don’t know how to get where I want to be, but I really hope to work towards a real goal for 2018 with my writing in one way or another. There are so many ways to get there, to be a “real writer”. I want to be paid to do what I love, not just work every day to pay the bills so I can have no energy after the day is done to do what I actually enjoy. That is not a life that I want to lead, but it is the life that I have right now.

Any suggestions on freelancing or how to break into finding places to pay me to write I’m all ears. I can do most anything, if I put my mind to it I know. Any one can. I guess I just have to try harder.

I realize that I really only talk about two things in this blog, writing and mental illness. I am planning on changing that in 2018 as well. There is so much more to me than just those two things. I have so much more to tell you and share with you, so I hope that you do keep an eye out. There is so much more of me to come.

Eventually I’ll have a post, probably closer to the end of December when I’ll have time off, that I can really express where I want to see my blog going for 2018 and what I am trying to set as goals for myself so maybe you all can hold me accountable since I obviously can’t do it myself. For now, this will have to do.

I hope you stick around. I hope you are as excited to kick this crappy year out and try to make 2018 a better one- even though there are things out of our control that are scary and unsettling.

I will be back soon, and I’ll have so much more to show you.

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